I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
