I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
