Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
