No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
