i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
