you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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