We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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