And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
