i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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