final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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