she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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