Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
