just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
