just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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