she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
