whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize