I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
