Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We had to coat check the pizza.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
