I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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