that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
