she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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