I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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