she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
