Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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