When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
love makes seman taste better
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was like getting head from an anaconda
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
