We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
