he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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