In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
