Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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