You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize