used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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