Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
