whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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