smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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