I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
