Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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