census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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