i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
