as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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