last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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