I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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