You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
How's work?
Spinning.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
