Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
