he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
