im drinking this country out of the recession.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
