I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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