Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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