o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
