can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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