im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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