she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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