when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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