Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
