am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no, he came in my armpit
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
