i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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