Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize