Tell her she can't have a vagina
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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