just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
