I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
