Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
