I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
