it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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