You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
