She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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