Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
