so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
