Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
